Quality time is sensory time.
In front of the TV, it is impossible to see something together.
Shut the idiot box and say to each other.
Check out other people at the restaurant and guess which ones are married and which ones are single.
Through the lens of the restaurant, it may be interesting to talk to your partner about human weaknesses and the syntax of the individual.
When you are sure what you like about each other, it can make you feel more intimate.
It can also bring out places where you don't like each other, but we will work hard on another day.
According to the doctor, the language of love is second.
It's quality time, Chapman.
He analogies, like "a medicine cannot cure all diseases", what makes a person feel loved emotionally does not always make another person feel loved emotionally.
"Think about your youth.
What is the most important thing for you?
Who are you with and what are they doing to help you enjoy your life?
When you pursue hobbies or sports, is it together, thinking and talking together?
Does it go to a play or a concert, be alone and share a great time with your partner?
Quality time does not mean that you have to sit together and stare into each other's eyes, but means doing something together and paying full attention to your partner.
Think of this activity as the root of a flower.
To help you find out if your love language, or if your partner's love language is quality time, Dr.
Chapman suggested writing two lists with a writing board.
On the one hand, a list of positive things about your partner, on the other hand, a list of things you know your partner wants you to do with him or her.
He then suggested, promising to do one such thing every week for two months.
There is no need to "lower your career goals" to do so ".
It's just that you want to be together when you "get to the top", he said.
Spend your time focusing.
This is the full meaning of unity.
According to the doctor, quality dialogue is the most common "dialect" in quality time"Chapman.
"Sharing experiences, ideas, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted environment", he said, creates a "dialogue of compassion ".
"Empathy is certainly related to it.
Most people complain that their partner has never said anything, he says, which actually means that they are rarely involved in meaningful conversations.
If your main love language, or your partner, is quality time, then this conversation is critical to emotional health --being.
Many of us, however, look at meaningful conversations from the wrong perspective and try to tell our partners what to do, while all they want is a crying shoulder.
"We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to be solved," he said . ".
When our partners want us to focus on them by listening to their pain or frustration, they want us to listen instead of working out a solution and taking over the talk.
I must agree with the doctor.
Chapman, when he said that most of us don't have much training in listening.
There are a lot of reports about the art of listening, and they all seem to offer similar practical tips like: Keep eye contact when your partner is talking, show him or her that you are following him or her;
Don't do anything else while you should listen.
Listen to the feelings behind the words, because the emotions your partner is feeling and expressing;
Pay attention to body language;
Refusal to interrupt (
Did you know that recent research tells us that we only focused on 17 seconds before interrupting and inserting our own ideas? )
We should also learn to speak.
High quality dialogue, as Dr.
Chapman said, "Not only do you need sympathy to listen, but you also need to listen to yourself. revelation.
Have you ever thought, "I wish she could speak" or "I never knew what he was thinking "?
If your partner's main love language is quality time and their dialect is quality dialogue, you have to learn to show yourself. Self-
For many people who were scolded for expressing their thoughts and feelings when they were young, revelation is not fun.
When we were young, this condemnation of our feelings undermined one of our basic desires.
We can live so long in anger, hurt, and disappointment that we cannot acknowledge our feelings.
According to Dr. , if we need to learn the language of high-quality dialogue, there is a very simple way
Chapman suggested that we carry a small note and write it three times a day, what emotions you have felt in the last three hours and what events have made us feel them.
Do it three times a day, he says, and share these events as much as you can with your partner briefly.
Remember, he warns, that emotions themselves are neither good nor bad.
They are only our psychological reactions to life events.
"Emotional awareness is what they want you to do if your partner's main love language is quality time.
Our ability to engage in quality dialogue is also influenced by our personality, which we are affected rather than controlled.
We may not be out of touch with our emotions, we may be completely content not to talk, but just to absorb a lot of experience, emotions, ideas throughout the day like a sponge, then a perfect and honest response to our partner's questions, "What's the problem?
Why don't you talk tonight? Nothing.
What makes you feel wrong?
"Some of us drove hundreds of miles without saying anything, so happy.
Or, perhaps, everything we see and hear is something we have to talk about and rarely leave 60 seconds between the two.
We have all heard that our bodies need a daily minimum demand for healthy vitamins and minerals.
What are your minimum requirements for quality time per day?
Too many people did not think of this.
If each of you is willing to talk to each other about the three things that happen to you, and the emotions that you experienced in a smart way at the time, then your minimum daily requirements will be met.
The author of the five languages of Love claims that quality activities are also dialects of quality time.
The typical answer to the question "when you feel your partner likes it the most" is, "When we do things together --
What I like to do and what he/she likes to do.
Kind of like dating.
"It shows that you care. One of the by-
Products of quality activities.
Chapman, "they provide a memory library that can be extracted from in the next few years.
"Ah, such memories!
When you think of them, the sky is the limit.
They may be gardening (my favourite)
Listen to music (
My second favorite)
Writing and reading (my passions)
Sex, walking, buying collectibles, you can name it.
The basic elements are just that at least one of you wants to do, the other is willing to do, and you all know why --
Express your love for each other by being together
So how do you make time for all your happiness?
Just acknowledge that these activities are as important as lunch or dinner.
It's hard. do you need a plan?
Maybe, maybe not, it depends on how important each of you is to each other.
Does this mean sacrifice?
Depending on how you look at the word sacrifice, it may or may not be.
It means a sacred building to me.
The sacred building requires a solid foundation and proper maintenance.
After all, they are not as replaceable as a roof.
The third language of love.
Do you remember the first one?
If not, why not click View?
It can't help it.
It's all about your love language next week
Part 4: receiving gifts
Going to our suggestion column, we will focus on small business from here on.