Talented, well-trained members, a dedicated team of elite professionals, announced on Tuesday that they are working tirelessly behind the scenes to protect our country from harm to our citizens.
"I know most Americans like to believe in selflessness.
Smart operators like me look at everything from the underground control room, "said Rhodes scholar seal national security officer, who we all mistakenly thought he was a real person for the past 10 years.
"Unfortunately, I am not employed in the United States. S.
The government, I have no job at all to defeat the terrorist plot, and I am not part of some secret network of capable agents, because there is no such network.
"So do I," added the imaginary.
According to the super that does not exist at all
We have been telling our talents to protect our country with their superior technology and lightning --fast decision-
Manufacturing capacity, currently the Pentagon, the CIA, the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, TSA, or any other federal, state or local law enforcement agency do not have a living person like them, there has never been such an experience in American history.
The fictional sources also confirmed
The so-called "mastermind" behind our national security and strategic defense is actually moderate to reasonable-
Average intelligence is like us, they perform their work more or less in the same capacity and enthusiasm as any ordinary person with a job.
"Obviously, if there is a secret group of resourceful, gifted and natural secret agents like me who search the Earth to eradicate the latent cells of terrorists, that would be very gratifying to track Osama bin Laden, a multi-lingual computer/explosives/spy expert, said that most Americans actually think he is a real person.
"I do not deny that it will be amazing;
My only point is that this is not true.
"Believe me, I also want me to exist . "
"I might be great.
After the announcement, the reporter learned that,
Millions of Americans are trying to watch satellite cameras and invisible eyes --
The one-inch land of the country is like a silent sentry, either not there at all, or being read by a tired, educated person in a small office by the journal road and track.
And, although it is generally believed that
Knowing the super agency that secretly controls all other intelligence services from above, the reporter's attempt to contact such an agency has not been successful because it is actually impossible.
"Look, I understand that your psychology needs to invent people like me so that you can stop worrying about the coming disaster and go to bed at night . "
Soft technique for scientists
We are all imagining.
"But the reality is that most of the smart, qualified people in this country are wasting their positions as assistant professors at struggling public universities, or making millions of dollars in some venture capital groups.
In fact, if I were a real person, that's exactly what I'm going to do now. Which I'm not.
He added, or rather, he did not add, because he did not say anything and did not even exist at all.
In response to this announcement, members of the team of actual government staff responsible for protecting our national security try every day to reassure the American people that state welfare is in good hands.
"Oh yes, don't worry," said the 28-year-old underpaid. year-
Let you take off your shoes before getting on the plane and throw away the old GED recipient of the water bottle.
"We have all kinds of crazy computers and shit that monitors things, so nothing goes wrong.
We got it for you.